HOW DOES IT FEEL TO FAIL?
This is a question a young man asked a friend he was trying to encourage. The friend had just suffered a major set back. He was failing his pre-clinical exams again for the second time. The resultant consequence was immediate withdrawal from the department of medicine and surgery. The person that came to console Harry was representing an organization. Just imagine the first statement he uttered was ‘how does it feel to fail’?
Harry ended up feeling more devastated than he was before his friend showed up to counsel him. To Harry’s dismay words from the other members of the same organization were not any better. He was told that a major reason responsible for his failure was his ‘over commitment’ to the organization. Harry was devastated “why were they just making this observation now”? Why now when it is too late to make amends.
They came to comfort him but they appeared to be enemies. At least that is what their speech connotes. Can you identify with Harry’s story? Have you ever-needed encouragement, a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen and instead what you get is just the opposite? I have come to discover that the average individual does not know how to express appropriate words to comfort a friend. Their words misrepresent the compassion they have at heart for you. I know it hurts but you have to forgive them. I can tell because I have been there.
On the other hand, how do you treat those that are hurting around you? How do you relate with hurting people? If you do visit such people, rather be quiet than say the wrong things. A warm embrace or a pat on the shoulder can convey your heartfelt compassion. It’s not time to ask questions either. If you must talk, make it brief and pregnant with hope. Use words and phrases that will infuse hope and courage in the heart of you friends. Visit the person more frequently but let each visit be brief. Call the person, mail the person or drop short notes for the person. On each visit let you countenance be cheerful.